Akatuski animal stuffie
by Invader Kyuubi
Summary: A bizarre tale when the akatsuki enter the real world, meets some strange girls and are turned into stuffed animals, full of romance, comedy, lewd humor and a itachi weasel plushy! crappily reedited as of 10/ 27/10
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Owning naruto, ha I wish…

Im rediting the story by the way so a few small changes will occur.

A bizarre tale when the akatsuki enter the real world, meet a strange girls and are turned into stuffed animals, full of romance, comedy, lewd humor and a itachi weasel plushy!

My first story, judge harshly, but don't.

Also Kamaria aka kami has multiple personalities. They srew up her mind and thinking process

They are Ki, Kyi, and Kyn. Ki is the good little angel, Kyi is the evil one, and Kyn is the downright lewd one.

Kyn: I'm not lewd

Ki/Kyi: Yes you are.

Kyn: I just have my head in my pants.

Ki: …..

Kyi: …..

Kamaria: shut up!

Chapter one: why is tobi on my lap?

Ugh school is so boring, I sighed as I walked home, it was a evil place, with the three most dreaded torcher devices in history, Math, p.e. and math. Not that my social life was bad or any thing, but people always mocked me for my strange name to, Kamaria, what in seven hells where my parents thinking? Bet they had been eating special brownies.

Looking in a window at my reflection, I sighed. My name means like the moon, but in my mind it I looked nothing like it at all, even though people said I did, I had heavy long black hair that framed a small face and covered my left side, with large green eyes the color of new leafs, and alabaster skin, with light gray freckles mostly on my right side, I was thinned boned, skinny and decently proportion.

Every thing seemed normal about me except for my other personalities Ky, kyn and ki. Over the years I had learned that if I wanted to do something, Ky and Kin would hardly ever agree, Which ever one that Kyn agreed with I should do the opposite of.

I stressed me greatly but I learned to deal with it.

I was finally at home, went inside made sure all my plants were watered, grabbed a box of cookies and settled down on the couch turning on naruto, and fell asleep listening to the blissfull sounds of sasuke trying to kill itachi.

I must have been fallen asleep for I came ito concsinus and heard a pop and felt movement on top of me, I opened one eye and stared into a orange mask, I heard more pops and the first thing that came to mind is "why is tobi on my lap?"

Author: It sucked didn't it.

Kami: It wasn't too bad.

By the no stuffie yet sorry.

Review, I give you Itachi, but not deidara he`s mine, and so it zetsu!


	2. Chapter 2 what the?

**Chapter 2, what the F!**

Seeing the akatuski in my living room and being sat on, well it wasent the weirdest thing to happen to me but was in the top three.

Tobi was the first to speak, "leader-sama who is this girl?"

"Tobi," pein sighed, "I have no idea where we are, let alone who that girl is."

Heehee she isn't bad looking though, hidan said with a nasty look on his face, staring at my chest, which led me to give him my favorite animal the bird

I grabbed the box of cookies I had, they were all chewed on and sslobberedr I notice, and threw them at him, him being the freaky immortal ninja, dodged them as easily as edaward cullen hunting a mountan lion. (n/a heehee whitest kids u know… cunting. O sorry #)

"Hidan", said pein, "we have more important business at hand, first of all…. Hmmm?"

Me and the rest of the akatsuki turned there attention to the TV, where naruto was on.

"Since I saw sasori there I figured they hadn't caught Garra yet, and I shouldn't let them see what was going to happen, I forced tobi of, making him land with a lunmp and thud, and lunged for the TV, remote which tobi must have knocked of the couch, doing a fancy James bond move, (In real life a friend of mine did this off the stairs) and turned it off before they could see what would happen next, course my weird 007 move got a lot of weird looks, from the akatsuki.

Of course seeing naruto on the TV, Itachi had to ask, "Why, was the nine tails host in that box?"

Well be being smart I had to ask, like a dithering idiot, "why are you in my world, you guys are all from the manga, I mean, I mean why else would deidara, itachi and pein be here."

Saying there names made them look at me real funny like I had a raccoon on my head… again. ( I had to put my hand on my head just to make sure.), Pein said slowly, "how do you know are names..?"

Seeing the deadly looks they were giving me, I made a bolt toward my room like a turkey when it loks at the callender and sees its thanksgiving , but before I got there a tentacle(!ew!) reached out and snatched me, Being hung upside down, and not knowing what else to do I screamed bloody murder, though something was off about the scream, it sounded funnythough. As if it wasent time screaming but someone else did, I heard more pops and felt the pressure decrease on my ankle and got dropped on my head, looking to see what a happened I saw a stuffed octopus dressed like kakuzu attached to me, where kisame standing I saw a stuffed shark, and where Itachi was a weasel, and where pein was, was….Ahahhahahahh!

Me: I put the plushies in!

Itachi: Why am I a weasel!

Me: Why do you think?

Pein: what am I…

Me: hehehe

Me: Review, and also I need suggestions for what, Tobi, Konan, Hidan, Zetsu, deidara, and sasori should be, though sasori might be a scorpion but who ever heard of a stuffed, scorpion?

Thanks to my reviewers blksnowangel, killforblood and Tayi!

Pein: what am I already?


	3. Chapter 3 rabbitsan

Me:heeheehee,

Pein…

Deidara: O.o

Me: release the kraken!

Pein/deidara: what? Wait what the hell is that thing!

Me: It's the kraken, wait where is it going…. O,o!

Deidara: ahhahahah

Pein: That's just wrong…

Me: No! Kraken! Kisame doesn't have a condom!

Tobi: On with the show!

Deidara which of the two do you mean?

Me: the story...

Pein`s P.O.V.

Pein with a motion of his hand signaled kakuzu to grab the girl, who was began to run.

Pein watched as kakuzu pulled the girl back, but suddenly the girl let out a blood curling scream, and pein felt as if the whole world was pushing in on him.

He Felt as if all his bones where popping out of place and turning into jelly and kept hearing a bunch of pops.

The first thing that pein noticed was that every thing seemed larger.

The second was that he noticed was the girl looking around at the akastsuki members, he

saw itachi was a ferret and kisame a shark, and kakuzu was an octopus.

Then she looked at him, her face turing tomato red and just broke out laughing.

"Why was she laughing at him", he thought, wanting to thump his tale on the ground.

Wait, did he just want to thump his tale on the ground? He didn't have a tail, or did he?

He turned his head and looked at his hands and saw stitches lining the orange fur and his feet, they were long and orange.

He heard more laughing and saw sasori, who was a scorpion, Deidara who was a bird, Hidan was donkey. Figures, he was an ass.

Zetsu was, well he had no idea what zetsu was since he was in his plant thing.

Konan was a tiger, she was looking at him with concern but he could see a smile being held back out on her stitched face.

Sasori looked like he was about to die of laughter.

Tobi was a cat or more precise a kitten by the looks of it.

"Konan", asks tobi, "can I touch pein-sama`s ears?"

"No tobi", konan says, "I think he would kill you if you did."

Pein noticed the girl was gone but she came back with a mirror and put it in peins face.

Pein`s jaw dropped. He was a friggin stuffed rabbit.

Pein: a rabbit…

Pein: why am I a god dam rabbit?

Me: sorry pein the idea called to me.

Tobi: yea rabbit pein!

Me: here pein a peace offering (brings out a box of trix`s)

Pein:…

Pein: I… am… goanna… KILL YOU!

Me: my spring break present I will be dead those weeks, so if I reply late sorry!

Me: review I won't update till I get 20 reviews! Mhwaaa,


	4. Chapter 4 this is not a chapter

This is not a chapter,

A shout out,

Three people get to be put in my story.

First three to reply

Give what you want to be called, and who your favorite akatsuki member is,

Can't be zetsu or sasori

Give any info you want

You will be around the same age as the main character,

Be in my story!


	5. Chapter 5 kami

Me: I have decided to do more then three people!

Deidara: why?

Me: because I felt like it. Don't argue with me I CAN MAKE YOU DIE! or screw sasori … All you need wuv! Or stalkers…

Tobi: tobi wants a stalker!

Me: no or maybe or cookies!

Deidara: screw sasori! Nasty little beast!

Me: here are the winners after careful consideration since hidan was way too popular.

They are:

Kurai Ryuu =Deidara

Angie = Kakuzu

Usagi= Hidan

Raya Ungai= Kisame

Seika= Itachi

Me: O c`s get Zetsu, sasori and tobi. The other two shall be reveled in time, like my fourth grade journal that apparently I advertised coor`s in. Don't ask…

Me: By the way those that didn't get put in as the special ones, bethanie, Shima Fugata and Brittany Monahan, you people get to go to kamaira school and be her friends, I value your input and I give no sympathy to people who didn't review.

Tobi: gets a stalker? `whimpers`.

Me: go with the show.

"WHY AM I A GOD DAM RABBIT!" Yelled pain as his stuffed fluffy body bounced around.

Hindan was laughing his ass off at pein, in till pein told him to look in the mirror and hidan started yelling why I am a donkey!

"I think burrow or ass is the proper term", the girl said reading from a book that popped out of no where said, getting some dirty looks from hidan.

The rest of the group, looked in the mirror and noticed there new fluffylichous stuffed bodies. (Fluffylichios )

Pein turned his head to the girl and asked if she had any thing to do with this. The girl (since they don't know her name) replied do I look like I did this, I mean if I could, school would be hell of a lot of fun?

"Pein", said Zetsu who was still held up in his plant casing, "when that girl screamed she somehow drew chakra to her throat."

So she did do it? Pein says surprised.

"No, Not entirely she triggered something that made us like this."

"Wait", the girl said, "I don't have chakra."

Zetsu saying, "you do though I don't know how much, mainly cause of are reduced form our powers have been reduced, so I cant tell and something else is blocking me."

Pein saying, "well girl what`s your name?"

"My name is Kamaria, but don't call me that call me Kami." (dam author, start calling me that to, so she will be called that, from now on)

Kamaria (ow) kami`s pov

As I was saying that, my mind personalities came up, Kyn said, ha-ha hell shall begin soon! In a creepy wicked witch of the west voice

And right after that the door bell rang, Oh shitake mushrooms my friend`s were coming over!

Me: by the way zetsu still doesn't have a form yet so help! Sorry it so short in a hurry

I shall get the next one soon but I have to shower now and want to post it at school.

The friends shall be introduced hopefully soon!

Review you get a banjo with knives in it! Makes no sense at all


	6. Chapter 6 kami friendstoilet water

Me: Da Da Da Doom

Me: Deidara go boom

Deidara: 0.o?

Me: Sasori catch sand man

Me: But killed by his gran woman

Sasori: ().()

Me: Tobi aint a terra

Tobi: ^. ^

Me; but he is really mad-

Tobi: -. -

( tobi slam hand against mouth)

Tobi: What is a terra?

Me: close dude

Me: Go Go, story time!

Chapter 5 or 6: Kami`s friend's and there slightly nerdish meeting's.

Kami`s Pov

And right after that the doorbell rang, Oh shitake mushrooms my friend's were coming over!

My friends and me had a totally bizarre meeting every Wednesday. We would talk about Naruto, show funny pictures we found of them off the Internet, and watch a new Naruto episode, discuss the hotness of characters.

We had come up with this totally weird, idea where we each have a seat, that pertains to our favorite akatsuki member, I had a few other friends, but after they had lost there seat, because three of my friends are Hidan fan`s and after a feud, (which resulted in mass murder and the beginning of world war 4), which one had came out as the top hidan fan of our group, while the other two where not aloud in till the toppled a seat, so they plotted in secret, O and they had a job, while my other friend had business to do.

First of all I decided that if my friends where to come in they better not see talking stuffed animals that where the Akatsuki, and of course I did the most logical thing.

Whabamm!

Akatsuki pov, kami pov, everyone pov! No pov, I don't know pov

That girl Kami, had just punched pain flattening his stuffed self.

Pein reformed up in a way like a spring that had been pushed down, and started yelling, saying "what the hell you bi-".

"Shut the hell up!" She growled.

"If you haven't noticed your all stuffed animals, rabbit, scorpion, ass, weasel, shark, octopus, bird, kitten, tiger, err, whatever the hell zetsu is.

So be good toys and shut up, don't move, get out of the way and if you do move I will start sniping down there and who knows what will come off! Got it?".

They all shook there heads, there faces white with stuffed fear. (Except Konan because she really had less to fear from that threat,)

So they stopped moving, and looked really just like toy`s form toys are us, and she wouldn't have known a difference if she didn't know what had just happened.

She opened the door and said, "hey what's up, Raya, Usagi, Angie, Seika, Kurai and Sorka! What a surprise to see you, ha ha!" (Nervous laugh)

Um, you do know we come here every Wednesday don't you? Kurai said.

"Oh yea, sorry just have things on my mind…" Kami said

"Like?" inquired Raya

"Oh just things"…

"It`s so obvious what happened," said Sorka.

"And what would that be?" Usagi asked noing what the answer would be

"She was up ducted by aliens", sorka replied

"Yhea, cause that`s what always happens." Angie replied sarcasticly

"Those aliens will force you to eat zucchini," sorka replied.

"Uhg zucchini, so nasty, well why don't you tell those aliens to come and- ohhh what are those?" Angie asked peaking around kaimarai

"What`s what," I asked, knowing full well what she was talking about.

"The stuffed animals in the akatsuki outfits," angie said as she picked up the octopus one. Aww look it looks like kakuzu, it even has a little mask, she refield thorugh the pockets, O and little money! she asi as she pocketed some.

And of course the rest of my friends came in and picked up their favorite characters, without knowing they were the real deal.

"Aww,' usagi said,' it's supposed to be hidan, it truly reflects who he is." hunging the stuffed donkey

Man I swear that hidan donkey had a smirk on his face, until sorka ripped him out of her arms and dropped kicked him, mumbling perv, just barly in hearing distance.

Then she walked away, ( dropping tobi picking up sasori) to the bathroom, plopped him in the toilet and flushed the toilet.

A poof happened and a very annoyed, very green and very wet sasori was staring at her.

Me: three pages long! A record.

Me: If you didn't notice it sorka is kinda insane, so am I now that I think about it…

Me: need at least 35 reviews till I update.

Me: Zetsu needs his form helped with, needs to be an ANIMAL!

Maybe wolf, or monkey or a fly (no fly but would be funny, or maybe he should be?

Hmm…) till next time.

Update

Dbefore Halloween I promise

Im sorry I haven't updated in a while but I lost my junk drive with my stories and I was going to updte on 8/13, which was my b-day, but alas I coundent. Also I dotn have internet at home so, it can be hard. SO I have to update at school. AlSO Ive suffered the lost of two kittens, I did wright the story then when I WAS ABOUT DONE, I flIPPENSHut OUT OF WORD LOSING ALL MY DAMN WORK.! SO I kicked my self in the ass and told myself to get it doen you have people that like the stories, so do it don't let them down, just because you're a lazy ass, which mezans it took me two weeks to kick my self in the ass. Also I REDEDID SOME PARTS In chapters so some small things have changed. Just to double check a majjor part which happened at the end of last chapter got changed and tahts thte only real thing you need to check out I belive. Oh shit I GOT KATS CRAWLIN ON ME SO IF THINGS GET MESSED UP SORRY, I MEAn literally I got one behind me AND ONE ON MY HEAD.

Um I decided to change some things, ( damn cant I MAKE UP MY MIND)REMBER WHEN I SAID THOSE OTHER PEOPKLE WOULD BE MINOR CHARACTERS, WELL I changed my mind. Hidan will get three girls! Mainly because any time he compments one, the other two kick his ass, insults one, they other two kick his ass. Flirts with randome strangers, every one kicks his ass. Hidna ass kicken! I don't have to many problmen with hidna but I feel he needs, a healthy dose of ass kicken. Alos the other person will be the wise one that tries to convince the others not do things but will be ingnored and save there asses. Hee.


	7. authors note

I will update soon,

But a quick question should I rewrite the story.

I think I should just make a few changes and let it run smoother,

reply


	8. Chapter 8 toilet fun and cookies

A sielnct figures flits thorugh the akatsuki base, running as fast as the figure can. She reached her destination. The akatsuki computer room. The figure had to hurry, but unowmn to her she was being watched.

!Bang!

Me: Ow what the hell!

Deidara: That's for not updating sooner! You were gonna sneak trough without saying sorry! Update soon my arse

Me: um oh!

Sorry for the late update people! I'm a lazy ass, and writers block. I did write it but then I erased it! ***sob*** Gargh! I revised it a bit; the only major difference is that sasori went for a swim in mister toilet! ^_^

Sasori: ….Damn you.

Me: Also on a note hidan in this story will get his ass kicked. A lot. By fan girls. Nothing against hidan but he needs to learn the most important Females are crazy! Also if I put in author notes in chapters I will include a side story just for a filler space. Sniff 40 reviews! My first story and so loved!

Tobi: Aw Boo-sempai is happy!

Me: Tobi! NO call me BOO! And all my review I liked to thank to one person. Rabbit-pein!

Pein: Hate you

Me: sniff pein you can't control me I am Invader Kyuubi! (NEW NAME INCASE ANYNOTICED) I control the two most hyperactive creatures in the world! On my right Naruto and on my left Gir!

Gir: I like cupcakes! Doo Dee doo Dee

Me: Gir out! This is Naruto not invader zim!

The author chases Gir around trying to get back her cupcakes

Tobi: Well let's get the show on the road!

ME: MY CUPCAKES!

All my friends just stared in pure shock at the toilet. The toilet, which held sasori as he struggled to get out of it.

Holy crap it's the akatsuki, yelled all my friends, (except sorka.)

"Sorka, I asked slowly, what did you do.

She looked at me and sighed and said, "Well they were stuffing those beasts into their boobs (rest of the girls blush), so I thought it would be better not to happen, considering that they were guys..,."

All my friends looked down, had cherry red face`s and dropped them to the ground.

"How did you know though, and why did you flush sasori?" Pain asked.

She looked at pain and got a very confused look on her face and simply said, "…I don't know…"

Pain looked up and saw kamaria and all her friends looking at each other, and got the sense that this kinda thing happened a lot.

"…Interesting…" zetsu said very quietly.

Pain decided he would find out later.

"So…, angie said "how do we get them all back to normal?"

"Hot sauce!" Sorka yelled.

What in the world does hot sauce have to do with it?" Kurai, said, giving her a wtf look

"…I like hot sauce… and you know…toilets…"

"O-kay, ewe." they all said with sweat drops on them.

So what should we do then, Raaya asked?

"Um well it a toilet, so maybe the water has something to do with it!" Usagi said

Well let's try it," yelled sorka and snatched kisamae out of Raya`s hands and proceed to us the plunger to plunge him into the toilet.

Sasori: who happened to get out, whispered silently to himself, that he wasn't in kisame position.

"Sorka!" yelled Raya, "stop it he`s going to drown!"

He cant drown he`s the span of a lonely man and a shark!

"Sorka put the plunger down and get kisame out," Kurai said slowly.

"Why the hell should I?" sorka yelled.

"Because Ill give you a cookie if you do,"

"…Cookie… "Sorka said as she dropped the plunger with this glazed look in her eye.

"It`s chocolate."

"COOKIE!" Sorka yelled, drool coming of in rivers

"Here you go," Kurai said holding out a cookie ( it came form the dimension of things people have in there hands that seeming come from nowhere) whipping her hand back as sorka grabbed it with inhuman speed and feasted on it, going to a corner and looking around with a crazed in her eyes like an animal.

Well that solves that problem, Kurai said whipping her head. T least she didn't bite me this time.

"Yeah it could have been like last time," Angie said.

All the girls shook as if a painful memory racked them.

The akatsuki looked at each other and wonder what happened that scared them so. Pein noticed a girl that hadn't spoke much. She had black hair and very pale skin; she was staring intently at kisame who was struggling to get out of the toilet. She had a look s if she just made up her mind and reached down a flushed the toilet.

What the! What did you do that for Seika! Yelled Raya.

*Poof*

Kisame stared at seika with a look that said do that again and I will end you.

"Hey, I figured if it wasn't water then the spinning must have done it, "said Seika as she picked up itachi and cradled him

"Ingenious," yelled Kami!

"Well, Usagi said I really don't think they want to fist mister toilet so what should we do?"

All the girls got a sly look on their faces, and looked down at the akatsuki.

The akatsuki had a very bad feeling about this.

"Time to vist mistier Dryer, all the girls yelled and grabbed the poor stuffed group and began to run to the laundry.

The akatsuki looked at each other and wondered what the hell they got into.

Me: Pant *wheeze* finally done

Kamaria: Hee took you long enough.

Me: not the story I finally got my cupcakes back!

Gir: Piggies! (comes flying in on a rope and steals my cupcakes)

Me: No! Not the chocolate ones take the vanilla!

All the other members of kamarias Gang: Join us for the next installment of Akatsuki Animal stuffie ,and the special The authors hunt for Gir and the chocolate cupcakes Remember Reviews are always appcieated and so are suggestions for the story ideas of all kind!

Me: My CUPCAKES!


End file.
